I think I’m a psychopath.

Seriously. (Please don’t take this too seriously though. I guess I’m just bored, and I’ve taken quite an interest in the topic.)

I did some research last night, and this one article just hit me.

This one http://mindexpressions.wordpress.com/narcissism-psychopathy-evil/

Though only the first two paragraphs were really relevant for my curiosity, the rest of the article is awesome.  But, then again, the fact that I could name quite a number of familiar situations, including my reactions to other things, and an easily bruised ego, not to mention the thorough use of Xanatos Gambit in my life so I can never feel like I failed at anything, and how I can’t see any reason to feel emotionally attached when I see killing scenes in war movies (or anything, really- TV shows, plays, etc.) but I cry on the spot when I see an animal getting injured, any self-inflicted injuries, or suicides (even accidental deaths.) And a lot of other things, really.

So, (and I’m taking this from that article and this one about sociopaths) here’s a makeshift list. (mostly copy-pasted)

Also included are my self-checking reactions.

  • Psychopathy is generally viewed as a particularly virulent form of narcissism 
  • highly manipulative maybe
  • sometimes sadistic yes.
  • very much into control and power sure, why not?
  • presence of … a “glib, superficial charm.” whut
  • able to win over others very easily LOL
  • generally be described as “very attractive” people (let’s just scratch this)
  • the person sometimes goes into a path of criminal activity I don’t think so?
  • other times, the psychopath will be engaged in a legitimate career (politics, academia, corporate leadership) Hello, school. Jk.
  • always has a “me-first” mentality no reaction.
  • control/power is a major part of his/her game plan idk
  • this can be well concealed beneath a veneer of friendliness and concern for others I don’t think it’s a veneer… is it?
  • not evident until s/he receives what is known as a “narcissistic injury.” I HAVE THIS.
  • A person who is truly narcissistic will respond with extreme anger if s/he receives a challenge to her ego. (by getting in the way of the narcissist’s plans, for example, or by displaying a lack of full approval and appreciation for the narcissist’s brilliant ideas) and I also have this…
  • This response may look like an overblown rage fit, following a minor slight; or it may take the form of a cold vindictiveness, administered by acts of retaliation. and this.
  • ego is both fragile, and strongly defended this.
  • Although there is a higher number of psychopaths among violent criminals, a psychopath is not necessarily someone who is violent. yay
  •  has ’shallow affect’ (doesn’t have a big emotional range) LET’S SCRATCH THIS ONE. Or not. I’m not sure what to think anymore.
  • has poor impulse control Well, I can control it. It’s hard to, though, sometimes. But I usually just find that normal
  • pathological lying but not for certain people. Lol
  • incapacity for love HEY. Who’s to say what love is? Or I’m just confused. Carry on.
  • Need for Stimulation. Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common. LOL I can actually agree to this…
  • Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency. Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet “gets by” by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc. I disagree. I mean, seriously. I have compassion for animals. I don’t have problems with academics -___-; I don’t steal. This is a stereotype. I hate this description.
  • Irresponsibility/Unreliability. Not concerned about wrecking others’ lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed. I’m concerned about wrecking others’ lives and dreams.  I’m not oblivious to pain I can cause. I accept blame when I need to- but when others are also at fault, I’m no sacrificial lamb. 
  • Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity. Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts. WHAT. NO.
  • Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle. Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.
  • Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily. LOL. Useful.

I read somewhere as well about the Mask of Sanity, where psychopaths can easily mimic other people’s reactions or feelings.  I guess I have this? I mean, I thought it was just hiding my real feelings and other sappy things, or going against stereotype reactions and just being stoic about situations, but looking back on it, I don’t know anymore.  Did I actually ever feel anything?  I find it hard to actually choose a reaction, sometimes- when I shouldn’t even be choosing them. They’re reactions for a reason, right?

I also have fun putting on different emotions and observing how people react. I don’t know if that’s how I get to mimic other people, but usually I don’t know how to react to things unless I’ve seen other people react under those situations- or maybe I’m just turning 16 and I’ve yet to experience things? Idk. My brain’s starting to hurt from over assessing myself.

The second part of the article made me rethink a few things, though. Here’s around two thirds of it.

“There are more details about the study in the article, but one bit is particularly interesting, wherein one of the participants, from a high security prison, comments on the study. He says that, when he entered the prison five years ago, ‘borderline personality’ was the fashionable term, and his designated pigeonhole. Later, he was diagnosed as a psychopath; about this switch, he says: ‘The psychopathy label is more damaging — it prompts everyone to see you as a potential serial killer, which I could never be.’ But [this prisoner] also wears his PCL-R score as a badge of honour: ‘I think my high psychopath score is a talent, not a sickness — I can make good strong decisions, and it’s good to have some distance with people.’

“Interestingly, [these points] have also been made in the psychological literature. Ian Pitchford proposed in a 2001 article that psychopathy could be an evolutionary advantage for a minority of individuals, as it allows them act violently or antisocially without any emotional cost to themselves. Furthermore, discussion in both the psychological and legal literature has focused on whether labelling someone a ‘psychopath’ is unjustly stigmatising.

I guess it speaks for itself.

The article also has something on authoritarians.  I’ve already spotted a number, actually. I have profound disgust for right-wing authoritarians; (read the article, and you’ll agree with me I’m sure, unless you’re actually one of them.)  I have no qualms against High-SDO people, unless they personally affect me or they go overboard, or are just plain evil sometimes, it’s annoying.

I guess this is why I’m disinterested in politics.  If I am a psychopath, I guess my “vendetta” would be manipulating or having power over people, and getting my name out there, without having the need to be in a high position.  Or is it a life goal?  I don’t know anymore.  I like doing favors for people- but maybe it’s because I just get bored so often.

Or maybe I’m a sociopath? Okay, I’m crossing this out.

They’ve actually changed the terms to Antisocial Personality Disorder to broaden the concept to cover too many other individuals on objective criteria.  I feel like this is discriminatory. Or not. Idk.

Am I a danger to society?

Or maybe I’m just really normal. Who knows?

#laughsalone

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3 comments
  1. Paula said:

    You may have some narcissistic traits but doubtful you’re a sociopath/psychopath. These types generally don’t study the subject to make a determination. They already know. 🙂

      • Paula said:

        Being a bit narcissistic is natural, especially when you’re young and your sole responsibility is yourself. It’s a healthy attitude to have, but you definitely don’t want to suffer from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). All sociopaths and psychopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are sociopaths or psychopaths. 🙂

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