I’m very fond of my vivid, full-colored crazy nightmares. I actually miss them.
All I’ve had are blank, floating slumbers since the start of summer. When I realized that, it was obvious my mind was turning itself off. I hated it, but I couldn’t even manage to try otherwise because I was lazy- and it was summer, after all.
But then it gets really boring.
Creativity runs out. Passions cease. You can’t think.
So I’ve spent almost the entirety of my unscheduled summer days in front of the laptop, finishing off a number of seasons from different series’. All the while, I’ve been looking forward to and dreading THE DAY.
JUNE 13th, 2012.
FIRST. DAY. OF. SCHOOL.
But let’s get away from that first. Lets talk about my sleep and my dreaming habits. (Yes, they’re habits.)
I’m used to being able to control my dreams and letting it loose when I need to- I use it as my thinking space, thinking time. What time and place better to come up with awesome ideas and plans than when you’re asleep and your mind gives you an endless realm of possibilities that you can conjure as you please? It’s how I come up with ideas. Sometimes, it’s how I make decisions- like foretelling the future or seeing my current situation in another perspective, thriving all the possibilities with the vision only showing me the present one, removing all biases and speculation in one weird dream, helping me with how to react to something I’ve been troubling myself with.
It’s like my mind palace is only open when I’m on the thin border between consciousness and deep sleep.
It’s honestly how I’ve worked for the longest time.
Towards the end of April, I started missing on these dreams- especially the nightmares they would seldom turn into, but that’s when I just let it loose for fun. The nightmares would frequent this unending labyrinth of a house where I never cease to be amazed, or frightened, or whatever mixed emotion I might have felt those dreams. The house seemed to be building up and growing ever since I was a kid. I added to it every time I accidentally visited it.
But that’s just it. I only accidentally visit it- I don’t know how to get there, exactly.
I recently had this whim to pray for a dream of directions to the house. For some reason, it was granted. (Thank you, God!) But the dreams never dwell for too long. For the past week, I’ve had black and white dreams- and I rarely remember black and white dreams. I’d remember them when I wake up, sure, but only for a few minutes, then it’s gone.
I tried experimenting with them this morning, though, and I remember the last few scenes (to my embarrassment, I will not share on this public blog yet, as I am still confused. It has something to do with college, though, I’m just not yet sure what.)
How I did it was a bit simple, really. I roughly woke up from the alarm, force myself back to sleep and back to the dream before I could fully awake, and replay as many images I could remember in my head from the dream. It seemed to stick better than just the supposed knowing of what I dreamt a few minutes into reality.
I’ll be using and improving this method for quite a while now, especially since school’s nearing- but that’s if and when I remember to.